his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
