One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize