The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
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I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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