i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
