I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
