week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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