all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
