I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize