she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
We need to get me chipped asap
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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