i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
they're like a gay fantastic four
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
