I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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