Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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