My Higher Power is John Stamos
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
