I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
