Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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