I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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