In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I still have a little drunk in my system
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
