Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
