you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
