mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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