Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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