im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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