An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
