It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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