Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
