He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm getting married
To pizza
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
