hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
you guys were way drunker than both of me
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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