normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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