how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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