You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
