i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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