at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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