Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
oh god the rape fog is back!
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
