I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
