Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
