so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
