it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
