i wish there were pregnant emoticons
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
third nipple confirmed
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize