so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
