rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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