apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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