But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
People with herpes should wear stickers.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Someone came in the potted fern
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
