Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
