I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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