so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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