MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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