remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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