My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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