Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
