I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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