I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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