He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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