I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
