You just made me feel so damn special
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
