they need to just BURY HIM!
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
