So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
