the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
