Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
